10 Tales from the Xbox Live Policy & Enforcement Team

By
Darren C
– May 30, 2011Posted in: Sub Featured, Xbox Live
Nobody ever believes they deserve being banned, here are some of the accused trying to defend themselves.

I am an Xbox Community Xpert, basically I receive questions in my free time and work as a member of a community support team where we help with various questions for Xbox users. Most of the questions are typical questions the typical Xbox gamer would have, but sometimes you get a person curious about their suspension.

I direct them to their support forum where Microsoft allows you to give them your gamertag and figure out why you were banned. The people in charge of this take their job seriously and are pretty quick at giving you the requested information. I have yet to see one of these bans get appealed successfully meaning Microsoft is doing a great job at destroying cheaters and not falsely banning people. I also find it amusing that the Xbox Live Policy and Enforcement Team (XBLPET) all have their avatars in police outfits.

Back on topic though I find myself reading these appeals when I get bored and some of them are just ridiculous. Being inspired by Bungie Studios old segment where they showed messages they received concerning Halo bans, I decided to bring you the gems I found from the “falsely banned” members of the Xbox Live community.

I wish I could make the LAW & ORDER sound effect, but I urge you to make the noise yourself in between all of these. It adds a little something to it…I think.


I don’t know if I would feel bad for this kid. I mean he got caught doing something bad and he is ready to snitch on all his “boys” just for personal gain. I’ve seen this movie before and the snitch always gets whats coming to him.


You are really cool. Maybe Microsoft should un-suspened you.


I couldn’t figure out what exactly was going on in this. He appears to get really depressed and then angry, and as that keeps happening his spelling gets worse and his grammar worser. (that was a joke, shut up)


Well this is all the proof you need to see how thorough their team is. I assure you this isn’t the last LOL you will get from Juliet…but it may be the biggest “owned” moment in the entire article.


Well, speak of the devil. As I just said, XBLPET Juliet appears to enjoy her job at the expense of the nefarious xbox live members. By the way marijuana references in your Gamertag are a good way to say “Hey! Look at me! I am probably someone who utilizes the anonymity of the internet to be a douche!”


Why didn’t you invite your brother on your out of town trip to the beach? I believe this story might have more to it, perhaps your brother was jealous that he wasn’t brought to the beach also. So to spite you he decided to rain terror on your Xbox Live account and give you terrible flashbacks whenever your feet touch sand.


Kipper seems on the fence on whether he should get his account back. He admits to trying to cheat but being no good at it and them claims he is “legit”. Probably why he was trying to sell services to people with his “legit skillz”. I also found this really funny because he signed it KiPPer The Dawg. I don’t know where that gamertag could have possibly come from but it has an adorable ring to it.


Your gamertag is “The Pro Mods” and you are confused as to why you are banned? You even got your gamerscore reset once and didn’t realize that Microsoft may have an idea on your activities over Live? You have to be the dumbest offender I have come across.


I feel bad for this father. He comes home from a hard day at work and finds his son in tears because he can’t play Xbox. He kicks, he screams, and his dad finally tries to see what he can do. He finishes typing out his pleading case and with his son still crying in the background, he holds down shift and gives his last effort to make his son stop whining.


There is no room for vigilantes in this business. Your intentions were good, your methods were evil, and your spelling and use of capital letters were abysmal. You aren’t fit to wear their virtual uniform and they expect your gun and badge A.S.A.P. They don’t know where you got them and judging on what they know about you, you probably shouldn’t have them.

…myself on the other hand would be more than capable for the job and might I add my avatar looks simply stunning in a police uniform. Hell, I would even grow a moustache just to fit the role even better. Well, actually I don’t think I physically can because I may be 20 but my body thinks I am like 14. So I guess instead I will just wear the Horatio Caine sunglasses and say some very out of place phrases that could be said by a 10 year old. Maybe something like “You are all banned…(sunglasses)…so I guess you can all band together and cry”

I understand your interest is probably monumental at this point and you can barely contain yourself from sending the job offer. I guess I will at least give it a look out of respect for Microsoft and the Enforcement Team.

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